that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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