Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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