The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
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