Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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