Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize