What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
