ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Randomize
