i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
