dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
