They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
