i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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