its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
