If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
