If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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