You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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