dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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