Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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