Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
