jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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