Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
