I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Randomize
