at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
