How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
