Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
