I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
