I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
