I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize