i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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