My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
