lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
