kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
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