what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
