there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
