oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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