Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
