honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
