he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
