So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
