how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I will die if light touches me.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Randomize
