It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
