We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
