It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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