Sponge bath it is.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
