Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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