In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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