Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
