No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
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