i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
