I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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