I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
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