From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
