yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
