May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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