the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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