I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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