We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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