pedialite and red bull = repair kit
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
