So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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