We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
