I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
