so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
