So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
