I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
