Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
