im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
